Many years ago now, I moved to Wellington as a fresh-faced kid.
I was still of the ilk that thought people only ever thought and did their best by others.
When I first got to "Welly" I had nowhere to stay. I had advertised in a paper for board. One of my workmates found me a place. "they sound lovely" he said. Ok.
I moved in.
After about 3 weeks, I noticed the couple I lived with had some "odd" friends. They kept odd hours and had lots of different people stay over. They wore bugger-all.
One night, after a few wines and a nice dinner I had cooked, the wife remarked that she thought I needed a "friend". i reminded her that my then-boyfriend was overseas. I would wait until he returned.
She said she understood that, but that "wimmin" have needs and if I ever wanted to, she was "happy" to lend me her husband.
To be honst, I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. One of life's defining moments I guess. The husband was a skinny, greasy and generally lust-quenching weasel. She, on the other hand, was equally lust-quenching, very chubby, sweaty and bad tempered to boot.
I was 20. I had nowhere else to go. My parents would take days to rescue me.
I did what I thought was best.
I demured. I wittered on about how flattered I was, but that my self control was fine. really. Thanks but no thanks. I learned how to barricade my bedroom door.
I also scanned the papers 'toute suite' and found somewhere else promptly.
I do wonder how well we raise our kids to make good decisions. Do we "molly-coddle" them so much that we think they have to consult us before they even so much as fart, or do we trust them to make their own mistakes? Shoud we? My kids so far seem fine. At the BBQ last night, awash with nurses, my 11 year old remarked that for a bunch of health workers they sure smoked a lot.
This song has been on my mind all weekend. I love it.
14 comments:
Wisdom, good taste and bucket loads of sense from their mother - your kids are going to be just fine.
Thanks Steve, I hope so. As my kids get older it has started me thinking about what sort of situations I have been in over the eyars and to be honest there have been some from which I had a narrow escape. I was just wondering how to pass on that sort of knowledge 9without going into the gorey details and shattering my kids image of me, hehe)
Having grown up in the country I was a grass-chewing hick when I first arrived in a major city to study. If I passed another pedestrian on an otherwise empty pavement Pavlovian response kicked in and I couldn't help saying 'Lovely day', or 'Morning' or whatever. They invariably looked at me as if I was mad.
(I couldn't find your link).
Ah, it's not you; no You Tube links are showing anywhere on Blogger.
(Word verification: Bectono: noun, A proprietory cough remedy in suppository form)
Brother T - I know, I used to liove in Greymouth (very small, everryone knows everyone etc) and when I moved to the Big Smoke felt the same way. You Tube seems to be working today? Word verification "floccu", ancient Roman for being dodgy with sheep??
Blimey, that takes borrowing a cup of sugar from your neigbours to a new dimension!
I don't have kids as you've probably gathered but if I did, I would certainly raise them to have a sense of pride and self-respect and discourage them from behaviours that would lead to them being ashamed rather than proud of their conduct in various situations.
Same as 'treat others as you would wish to be treated' I guess.
I would also teach them about 'love' and relationships and valuing themselves and others and not just the sex bit.
I can't see your kids having more than their fair share of mistakes & social gaffs. We all have em, all make, but somehow we survive.
I would have died of horror if my kids had tried some of the silly things I did...
Gosh I love the Cure. Joy Division...
Great song choice.
Oh yes, cool track. I always play that on Friday morning! Really I do!
Oh what a story. I did chuckle. I wonder how many people get up to these sort of antics. I shall look at my neighbours with fresh eyes and be wary of any invitations to dinner.
As for children, I wonder the same thing sometimes. But my daughter successfully survived a gap year travelling so I suppose she has developed some common sense from somewhere. Can't believe it is from me though.
Poet - Gidday, so glad you came to visit (I do keep thinking of the hassles you're having and wish there was something I could do to help), as for the kids - hopefully they won't cause me too many sleepless nights!
Meggie - thanks! I sometimes shudder when I think back to one or two situations I got myself into and out of thankfully.
Villager - why, thank you! I keep humming it.
RB - yeah, it's a song that I can't get out of my head these days. No idea why! Honestly, I often wonder what happened to that couple. Your daughter sounds great, maybe you can give me some pointers along the way?! :-)
I had a discussion with a friend of mine about kids not long ago. He was one of those that felt he had to protect his kids from EVERYTHING. I more or less was of the belief that if it didn't kill them, they would learn from it.
Given that his kids grew up to be in all sorts of trouble by rebelling at every turn and my kids pretty much turned out okay, I think I did the right thing. My kids seem to think I did anyway.
Hello……
This is amazing!! I am so glad to found your blog!
Welcome to my blog…….
friday inlove =) hihi
saw u in meggie's blog... hope to exchange links with if it's ok. do visit my blog and wishing u can share ur thoughts. would be glad to hear from you...
http://any-some-every-thing.blogspot.com/
thanks!
Mike - yeah, I'm with you on this one! They reckon the reason some kids do such dumb things is becasue they have no experience of "risk" until it's too late if you molly-coddle them!
Femin Susan - welcome, thanks for dropping in! I checked out your blog and my goodness, you're a busy bee!!
Meili - welcome to you too! Thanks for the link, I'll check your blog too! :-)
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