We had this on Christmas Day....sunshine and loads of it, clear blue skies...it was a nice hot day. The perfect excuse (if you needed one that is) for setting up the backyard for a dinner party.
We also had this on Christmas Day, fresh oven baked Ciabatta (by my own hand no less!!), buttered hot and eaten with ham and wholegrain mustard, superb washed down with bubbly, or muscat, or red wine (or all three for the gluttons amongst us)
The end result? If that was the day we celebrate Christmas (and by the way, Happy Birthday Jesus) then wake me for Easter - I reckon that'll be a doosey!!

No way out

Yup, this is a real thing. It's Christmas. There's no way out.
Also, I had a very tearful phone call from my ex. Yes, THAT ex who has taken up with my "friend". His mother had a brain bleed (can't spell the real word) and not expected to live. So he rings me. Me???
Anyway, for right or wrong, I went t'hospickle...his sister is a good mate ok...he was there. His other sister was there too. It was like old times, me and the sisters...
His mum died last night, haven't had a call AT ALL from my "friend". Its all too weird for me. It was suggested that I do a reading at t'funeral. I won't though and will probably only stand quietly at the back and slip away before the after-match function. I'm off to have a vino. Its times like this that I wish I had more "naughty" habits!!!

You know something about this time of year is soooo phoney! People seem to conveniently forget how hard they worked at pissing me off during the year and it's all "Happy Christmas, mate" yeah right....however, in the spirit of things I have found a song that fits those people. All I have to do now is work out how to actually put the video on my blog as opposed to leaving the link. Feel free to forward your pearls of wisdom (or for those "crotchety knitwits" ones out there...your 'purls' of wisdom....)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvNO0BfBecc

Christmas Tag - thanks, Steve

Ok, have been tagged for a Christmas thingy whatsit. I'm not too good at this yet, so bear with me if you dare. Or go to sleep, whichever you think will be the most rewarding!

When people say Christmas you immediately think..."
Great, when is it this year?

Favourite Christmas memory?
I have two really, when I was little our family used to recreate the Nativity scene in our fireplace. I still have the doll that we used to dress up as Mary. Then, when were living on the Chatham Islands one year Mum and Dad had bought me a guitar. They figured that I would guess what it was if they wrapped it and left it under the tree so instead they left me an envelope which was the start of a treasure hunt. I finally found the guitar under the couch after having been all round the place on my hunt. It was great fun. We did a similar thing for our girls when they were little except we made it a hunt for pirate treasure (the "treasure" was actual costume jewellery that we had got in an auction) - it was great!

Fave Christmas carol/song?
Aw, has to be Snoopy's Christmas and The Fairy Tale of New York oh and lets not forget Elvis' Blue Christmas.

Fave Christmas movie?
Um...the Muppets Christmas Caper (I think thats its name)

Favourite Christmas character?
I like the idea of Black Peter from the Dutch traditions, yes he's a rat bag but hey....ok I'll be serious. Tiny Tim cos I'm with <>Steve on that one.

Favourite Christmas ornament/object?
One dish of brandy cream, two kids asleep, three glasses of champers...four adults doing dishes, five hours of sunshine, six bags of...no, wait wrong song. I love the little moving figurines in shop windows...

Plans for this Christmas?
I have got a month off work and the sun has started doing its thing here (sorry you lot up north), we had 33 degrees in the shade at our house yesterday so we will be filling our pool now that we've repainted it and will have full on family time, I'll read a few books and do some writing, keep the little house elves happy...its asll going to be great!

Is Christmas my favourite holiday?
Yep cos its the longest and usually the best weather, sun sand beaches rivers...sigh! Bring it on, Santa this good gal is ready!!!

Just thought maybe people in the Northern Hemisphere may like to see a glimpse of blue sky, took this today at our local Art Centre. It was such a hot sunny day we took the kids there for ice cream, real Italian Gelato...they always pick strawberry!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu9dfdYCZhM
I love this song.

The ol' clock tower has been renovated, but I personally love this photo I took at the weekend...all very dark and mysterious (exactly how I am not allowed my men!apparently. My husband says...)....
This taken inside the Church where my two dear friends Tim and Ramon took their vows. It was a beautiful service,even tho' our 10 year old fell asleep during it! (Well admittedly she had been at a sleep over the night before, only getting to sleep at 2.30am...and then claiming she had been at a "wake-over").us "grownups" loved it, very touching, romantic and just great to see two people in love making a committment. C'est la vie! I have to say, that they guys had two services to accomadate their many and varying friends. The initial ceremony took place at a marae in Taupo, with the other blessing service here in Christchurch.
This is the wonderful old Church where the whole sh'bang took place(can you say that regarding a Church?, I have to say (and no doubt will be careful of lightening strikes from here on in) the Vicar was rather cute. He could have been taller, but he was very savvy and rather dashing...even his wife was very nice. As the song goes, "All my life's a cricle..." - the Church is right next door to where my old Aunty (well ok Dad's aunty) lived through out her life. I used to watch the church-goers as a child, wondering if they knew something I didn't. I like to think they watched me back, thinking the same.

I am feeling decidely curmudgeonly. Blame old age if you must, or lack of breeding and manners but here's the thing. We had a houseguest this weekend to assist me adding another year on my life (and taking a few years off my liver in the process). We had a wild time and topped it off with a brekky treat of whitebait. Now I've said this before (on somebodies blog, forget whose) but the only way to have this stuff is with beaten egg, dash of salt and a squidge of pepper...made into a fritter/pattie whatever school you went to...and then served with a lemon slice (or vinegar if you must). BUT LOOK WHAT HE DID! (cue absolutely incredulous gasps and fainting sounds) - tomato sauce. On the whitebait. What was he thinking? First of all, ok so he lives in Australia - the nation of ettiquette (snigger) but he's American (comments??) so we could argue he doesn't know any better. Nope, sorry that is no excuse becuase I had explained the tradition. It would be like getting Britney Spears to dress the Church choir. I'm currently plotting my revenge.
Tune in next time for an account of the civil union wedding I attended, which was a much more civilised affair I can assure you!!

..to me!

Went to the Crosby Stills Nash concert the other night. Honestly had a FANTASTIC time. David Crosby was in such fine voice, very strong and steady. Nash was just SUPER SEXY in black and bare feet, jumping about and oozing sex appeal...Stephen Stills great on the guitar...such a shame to go home alone...I can multi task..a foursome would not have been beyond my capabilities!! But, there ya go. Hm. Maybe next time.

Yay,Christmas coming up, hoorah,. Whoopy. Etc.

The Christmas Spirit

Twas Christmas Eve
And we all sat round
Nothing was stirring
There was no sound
Then without warning
Came a crash and a strain
Of Ho!Ho!Ho! – oh, not again!
We rushed to the chimney
Yes…here came the soot
Wee Jimmy pushed past
For a lot closer look
“Get back here, Jimmy”
Ma croaked, fists tight
She was ready for battle
On this Christmas night
Years of cleaning carpets
Of soot, food and grime
Had taken their toll
“He’s mine…all mine”
With bit more puffing
And a great hearty cheer
We saw black boots then
Jimmy shieked “Ma, he’s here!”
Ma had the poker
At the ready in her hand
“I’ll show him who’s here.”
And a blow she did land
Ma gave a shout
And it was of pure joy
Santa fell from the chimney
And onto wee Jimmy boy.
There was soot on the carpet
And blood up the wall
- Santa had copped it
- Once and for all!
By Amanda Stephens 2007 ©

Emma has been found. Unemployed "man" arrested for her murder.
So cruel. I'm too upset to blog. Maybe later.

Emma Agnew is still missing. This is a heartbreaking time for all involved. I was at our local Mall yesterday while dropping one child off at a birthday party, and found myself face to face with a poster calling for any sightings of "Our Emma" and pleading for information to bring her home safely. It really brought it home to me how awful it is that something like this can happen in our city, in any city.
Hug your kids tight tonight.

We had a stunning day here yesterday, at least 32 degrees and soooo hot. Fantastic. Forced myself to sit in the shade at the bottom of the garden and have a tipple (Champers darling) while the world hazily went about its business. Our "Graham Thomas" roses are looking great and healthy - no idea how that happened as my gardening philosophy usually relies on the "leave it alone" approach.
Having left things alone of course, we found that a bird must have dropped a seed for the above Artichoke into the flower garden. Its growing very well thanks and we leave it alone.

Normally I also leave alone repoting on TV programmes - Steve and Old Cheeser do it so much better anyway, BUT last night I suffered through a TV drama only because Tom Conti was appearing in it. Normally I rate this guy as quite a good actor. With the drama named DNA, Tom stars as a forensic scientist. Sorry but I am super disappointed in the drama. Tom had about as much appeal as week-old lettuce. The story had a semi-reasonable plot and the script was shite, is Tom on a superannuation trip here or what? I had real trouble taking the storyline seriously after about half an hour - up til then it was 'fair enough", I doubt that I'll watch part 2 - has anyone else seen this programme? I note that it doesn't seem to appear on Tom's website - perhaps he's too embarrassed! And for those of you counting the number of times I used the word drama and feeling annoyed - thats kinda like watching the drama DNA. There, I have just saved you two hours of your life.

In the meantime, for those of you in the Northern hemisphere...

An Ode to Winter - by Amanda Stephens ©

Diamond studded spider webs
Frosty, glittering gates
Tuneless icicles dripping
In dew-fresh time, she waits
Her frozen fingers stabbing
At every breath you take.
Fleet footed children
Skimming over lake
Tall shuddering trees
Bent heavy by the snow
And rosy cheeked hurriers
Everywhere you go.

Look at that view - my mate Pixie has this view every morning from her wee house in Wellington....below is the Pixie house. Who wouldn't want to live there?
Anyway, meanwhile in Christchurch there is a blight or blot on the landscape. A young deaf girl has been missing for a week. What is going on in this beautiful country? I feel so bad for the family of this girl, as a mother of two daughters myself anything adversely affecting young women is just heartbreaking. Any parent going through this sort of thing must have shards of glass in their hearts. This used to be a country where you could leave your doors unlocked at nights - yes, I AM old enough to remember that being the case...it wasn't so long ago really! Let's hope the family have some closure on the matter.

Today, after going to the Riccarton Market and NOT buying the pile of Dr Who magazines (too old apparently - the mags not me!!) and I guess with Jon Pertwee on t'front cover one would have to agree they would be mature editions for sure)...my older daughter and I went for a wander to the end of our road to see if we could find some ducklings. The above photo is of part of the Avon River which runs through most of Christchurch. It is rather picturesque...only because I was fussy and didn't take shots where you can see the odd beer bottle, chip packets and plastic supermarket bags floating past!

And then.........

we struck pay dirt! Mother Duck with 10 babes in feathers. We are truly lucky to live this close to a river in such a nice city. A lot of grandparents out today with wee kids, throwing so much bread at the ducks that I'm sure they'll not want to eat for a month! Oh, and we also saw 2 schools of whitebait heading towards someone's net as well. (Altho' having just witnessed the original source of duck poo my daughter may well not be so keen to sample stuff from the water....)

I can almost forget being woken up at midnight last night by 4 drunken hoons, shrieking "F*ck!" at the top of their lungs and kicking the lampposts and screaming again. Sigh.

And to cap it all off, we are in the middle of re-doing our pool. We have drained it, cleaned it, fixed the leaks, snadblasted it and are now waiting ofr the two girls to decide what colour they want it painted...so today me and the gals played handball in the drained pool. It was alot of fun, the ball didn't wander off and we got to spend some more time doing crazy stuff. Great day!

WEIRD WEDNESDAY - Boots! Proof I have a sense of humour or high fashion??

Well, went to a funeral today and made it home. That's always a plus. Mind you, I suspect I was amongst the youngest there. Also a plus, granted!

Funeral's always make me wonder about things - did people really think that when the deceased was alive? did they tell him/her? Is it true that people shag like mad after funerals? (Presumably the living anyway!!)

However, today as I watched the Lone Piper walking slowly in front of the herse, apart from wondering why they never play "Donald Where's yer troosers?" it made me think that what I really would like would be a very loud car (probably American or maybe a bright red Morris Minor with air horn) with tin cans and balloons tied to the bumper with "JUST DEAD" scribbled in shaving foam and/or whipped cream over the windows of aforementioned loud car. Does that make me a bad person? Would the council object? Could I really have a tarten coffin? (Get it? Mwaaah) Ah well, those of you who know me feel free to make sure the above happens... I won't haunt you or even peek in the windows at the wrong time. I promise.Truly. You can trust me. I am not remotely nosey. Or vindictive.

Meanwhile, had dinner tonight with my least favourite person in the world. The dreaded brother-in-law. He's so bad he'd make an onion cry.

I guess that may be a mean observation - I prefer witty and insightful.

Feeling cheeky or cocky?

Have a look at this...when you read the thing you will have a giggle...well I did...but I was born giggling apparently!

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/New_Zealand

And if you really want a chuckle - type "Australia" into the search engine.

Am home with two sick kids today so while they are sleeping I am catching up on this important bit.
Now that the madness we know as Guy Fawkes is over for at least this year (if not next as well), time for a spot of comedy I say!
I have been following a show called The Flight of the Conchords...they are so funny! The humour is so dead-pan that I was surprised to find that the guys are a real hit in the USA. I didn't think the American's would get the humour.
One of the good bits of the show (I say good, the Stud says its annoying but I think he hasn't ever gotten over being forced to watch Cliff Richard's Summer Holiday) is when they go all musical. The songs are hilarious. Driving to work the other morning, Business Time was playing. Now I have to say I had the girls with me as I take them to school first then head off to work...honestly, we all had tears rolling down our faces by the time we got there. Now as I'm not too PC savvy I haven't worked out how to download the actual video (Hats off to you Simon, you are a pro at that!!) so you will need to click on the link. Trust me, its worth it.

Fireworks again. Not "public" until Monday 5 November when we.. er celebrate the fact that Guy Fawkes DIDN'T blow up Parliament. Ah well, points for trying i guess.
Thought this was a tad "arty farty" and the vino was jolly too.

These are a few of my favourite things!

Here is a smidge of proof, Simon...my very own "Cocktail Glasses", very Ab Fab don't you know! (Or more Dame Edna??)

The Lido cafe in Wellington. It's been there for ages, and never fails to be a great meeting place. Met up with the friend who has now moved in with my ex. We had wine and made small talk, things have changed actually. It's kinda sad but there you go. Maybe its one of those things that time might fix, maybe not. We'll wait and see.

Meanwhile, last night we had a fantastic sunset; this is a bit of our grape plant (not sure if its the Reisling or the Chardonnay) and that rather er..."fetching" shadow is actually our umbrella (down Simon, down!)

On the way to my youngest daughter's school this morning we saw this family of ducks, they were initially stretched across the road but by the time I got my camera and had parked the car safely they had waddled off into this property. It was really sweet to see them, we last saw them about 3 weeks ago and I didn't know that ducklings grow so fast. If you click on the actual photo you get a bigger view!

Right, am off to watch The F Word. Nothing I can say to that.

Crikey, some people are so clever and obviously have heaps of time on their hands,go here and watch this. Prepare to be amused.

We had a BBQ for dinner last night, so fantastic to have wonderful weather at last.
My dear friend Pixie is in San Francisco and then New York; so if anybody out there sees her say hi and tell her we hope she comes home in one piece and I personally hope she is following my instructions to get laid while she is there!!

Oh, and here are a couple of things I perhaps could have included in the last post...I was a nude model for a photograpgher mate of mine; I have a Certificate in Cocktail Mixology from the Christchurch Polytechnic (and sometimes wonder if I drink too much or not enough...); I went to a Cliff Richard concert once (and dammit, I'd do it again...it was fantastic - cue the sad music, a dying friend gave me the ticket as an early birthday gift knowing she wouldn't be alive by the time the concert came round. When he sang "Miss you nights" I cried myself stupid and he gave me such a warm smile..yes it WAS to me!!); and I had 3 photographs win a Highly Commended in a national competition. Ta dah!!

I've been tagged by the Old Cheeser himself.

Here are the rules:

Firstly, post these rules and a link to the person who tagged you.

Secondly, share seven facts about yourself, all devastatingly interesting.

Lastly, tag seven people at the end of your post, linking their names to their blogs. Follow this up by advising said parties of the tag in the comment section on their blog(s).

Hm, define "devastatingly interesting"....

1. I know all the words to Kenny Rogers "The Gambler"; if I have enough champers I play it and sing it loud (even making the dm dm dm bits of guitar riff), and then I play Rita McNeil's "Working Man" and tell everyone who hasn't already run away that I want that played at my funeral. No-one notices.

2. I backed Mum's car into a corrigated iron fence when I was learning to drive and was so scared that I put the car into first and drove off taking half the fence with me! I'm sure no-one noticed.

3. I was a Prefect at school.

4. On a dare from The Stud and no doubt unduly influenced by aforementioned champers, I once ran out to the front gate of our house stark naked scaring the beejesus out of some late night walkers. Although they came back for another look, I'm sure they didn't notice.

5.I loved Amsterdam and New York but have a soft spot for San Francisco (Stan Frank's Disco) as it was there that I got kinda kidnapped by a lovely and crazy Irish taxi driver on the eve of my departure! I was wandering back from Fisherman's Wharf, tired and bummed out cos I was going home that evening and decided to spend my last Yankee dollars on a cab ride. Got talking to the driver who then decided that I couldn't leave until I'd seen the Zig Zag road and off we went; then he decided I couldn't leave until he had driven like a maniac down "that street where Steve McQueen drove in Bullet". The driver had moved to SF as the small Irish town he was from wasn't that considerate of his er.."life choices" back when he was a lad and he had lived happily in SF ever since. I often wonder what he's doing now, he'd be in his 60s at least.

6. A friend and I once hopped on the train from Greymouth to Christchurch and got off it at Jackson's Pub; we woke up in Hokitika the next morning and hadn't noticed how we got there!

7. I am trying to write a play with a good mate of mine and we have stalled horribly. We need to get our Act together (hahahahaha, punning is another annoying habit of mine) or the only stage we'll be on will be the next one outta town. Yee haa.

I don't know enough bloggers to tag. I'm a sad case without doubt. No-one notices.

Just for fun (after the last post, aren't I considerate!!) Sign I saw at a fair, and the "gargoyle" is from an old building in Oamaru.

Beware of sticking plaster, thats what I say. My 12 year is suddenly allergic to the stuff. She left hospital in a wheelchair, her feet both got worse than these pix actually show. Go figure, you get to 12 and you have had heaps of plasters on before....and now, medica alert bracelet and the works.

Napier is here we have been. My younger brother got married (again, as seems to be the custom these days!) and off we trooped to the North Island of our country. Napier is known as the Art Deco centre of New Zealand. It suffered a major earthquake in 1931 and has more or less stuck in a certain style of architecture. It's a great place to visit and was nice and warm, a bonus for us from the South!!

The photo of the Palms (above) has been "tweeked" by me to make it I hope more interesting, otherwise the Palms all tend to look the same. The street 'man-hole' covers even had Art Deco designs on them, as did the new flyover bridge. Looks good and the shops - where do I start!!? Found a wonderful shop selling 1920s stuff AND THEY HAD A 50% OFF SALE. Well, you don't have to be an empty-headed grandson of a horned toad to work out the value of that!! Mind you, sadly the only thing I really really loved was a red felt cloche, complete with feathers and sequins..a mere snap at $345.00 (about $170 on sale) - yes, its still in the shop.

Also there is a place called Marineland where we took the kids in the morning before the wedding. They are down to their last Dolphin and are not allowed to catch anymore, so I guess the Dolphin part may go belly up at some stage. However the sea lions and fur seals put on a great show as well, and we all enjoyed it. They have penguins (which you can have your photo taken with while holding an old one-eyed chap named Alfred, a penguin) and rescue facilities for injured sea creatures such as seals, penguins, birds etc too. One of the water cages held "sight-impaired" seals, they looked creepy with watery white eyes but appear to have inspired my youngest daughter to start writing an episode of Dr Who! My lips are "sealed".

Oh how I wanted to give the lad a cuddle today. raining and cold but about 3,000 fans were at the airport to welcome the lads home.

There's nowt to whine/wine about, whats done is done. Lets move on. there's another "game" in 4 years.

RIP. "Ernesto"

Che Guevara. My eldest daughter is named after him. I should point out her name is "Shea" - not Ernesto!

This is about as far from Rugby as I can get today. Kids with extra large sparklers last Guy Fawkes, the wind was picking up nicely so I managed to snap this and then tweaked some more!

It rained like hell this morning and finally the sun came out about 2.30pm, of course it would because I nipped home at lunchtime and got the fire started so it would be a nice warm house that me and the wee trolls walked into this evening. Murphy's Law or Sods Law?

There is a black cloud hanging over us today. I am amzaed at how gutted I am about THE CUP. I really feel so sorry for the guys, they have worked hard...mind you, there are ample jokes circulating already and I guess it doesn't really matter how many times ya fall over, its the number of times you get up again that is important. And apparently its only a game of rugby. Keep that a secret. Meanwhile, if young Ritchie needs a hug, I'll be here waiting.

Here is a photo of some red chairs outside at our local Arts Centre, which is in buidlings that used to be our University yonks ago. They are lovely old buildings. You can get excellent fudge there too!

Ok, I'm back! I have been to Oamaru. Above here is an old stone warehouse which has been converted to a whisky bar and cafe. Apparently you can buy your own barrell for about $3,000 (no idea the Euros on that).

Then there are the tulips growing in my Mum's garden. She lives about 800 metres from the beach - how do they grow?? She is amazed only that there is one yellow one amongst the lot. How did Ol' Yella get there then!

Above that again is a photo looking out over Oamaru towards the North.

Then the first pic is of my Mum's backyard...you can just see the ocean thru the trees if you stand on one leg and squint facing Mecca.

Its quite a relaxing place to visit, the kids love it. We stay in a wee "crib" (bach or "holiday hut" to the rest of you), and get woken early by birds nesting in the roof. However, my 12 year old reckons its better than having a truck or ambulance waking you up and I'd have to agree. Its great lying there listening to the waves on the beach, the gulls overhead, the wax-eyes and sparrows fighting for space on the roof....sigh.

Meanwhile, back in Christchurch this morning we had an earthquake, measured 5.6 on the richter scale. I personally don't mind them, but admit they can be scary. Perhaps "sphincter scale" would be better description..."Oh, that was a real bottom clencher..a 7 at least"

Back to work tomorrow...what a thrill.

Full moon here. This is what it looks like from "down under". Isn't it magnificent? Driving to work this morning, my two young daughters and I drove past this (above but not the one with the moon), a scene where the Police had shot dead someone. It's always a heated debate (an heated debate??) in this part of the world. Apparently the number of people shot dead in our entire history of Police is less than an average day in the USA. Apparently. This might be an exageration but its a scary thought for those who live in the USA!! It's about 41 here in about 100 years. Something the police can be proud of but maybe not if they're playing cricket. The debate about tasers rages on, the debate about people being marginalised in society also rages on. The debate about parents teaching right from wrong will continue. The rat in a wheel peddles on. And it always so sad when someone dies prematurely. The "what if's" and the "If buts" will continue - for the Police, the family, the officer conerned and his/her family. Kia kaha.

Meanwhile our lcoal elections loom. I have exercised my democartic right to vote and I'm trying to stir others into doing the same.

Lets make a difference.

I've been away again, this time to (see photos) WELLINGTON!

I used to live there and still have a nostalgic simper whenever I either have to go there or actually get there, why is that?

Anyway, it was raining and cold and miserable (part of the reasons I left) so I didn't even get to do some shoe shopping. I LOVE the shoe shops in Wellington. I adore shoes. I am kinda like Emelda Marcos in that way, the kids grab me and drag me away if they see a shoe shop lurking. I have bought them off thusfar by promising them that when I do finally "pop my clogs" -they can have them! Er, the shoes that is, not the clogs.

Part of my job means that I spend a bit of time wearing sexy white gumboots (blood spattered on a good day, don't ask me what the other stuff is!) maybe thats why I have this shoe thing, cos I didn't use to have a shoe thing. I used to have a thing for earrings but then I had babies and went off earrings very quickly!

So, what are YOUR THINGS? (Please, don't send me pictures of anything too dodgy!!)

Friday, hoorah! Spent most of the day wading about at an abattoir...not so good after a few vinos last night! However, old enough to know better - young enough to do it anyway! (You can quote me on that if you need to).

I do find that its not the sights so much as the smells that get me.

Enough already, I hear you shouting, ok then...back to this weeks topic - BOYS! Adding to my shopping cat (on top of John Hannah...now there's a picture) woulod actually be Gavin Hastings a few years back (lately he seems to have gotten a "garlic sausage nose"), Richie McCaw (without his sex-from-behind face). I'll be adding to this list from time to time. However, still not sure who I would turn gay for.

Anyway, here's a better shot of the young man. He's only a whippersnapper really. Crikey, they certainly didn't have lads like that when I was at school. All short and spotty and greasy they were back in the um, er...back when I was in school.

I like red. Red is a great colour.

What colour do you like best?

Anyhoo, how is the Rugby World Cup shaping up for you? Would this be a "sex-from-behind-face" ? Honestly, I would take the risk to peek!

And, apologies to any readers who have been under the illusion that I am a very tidy, house-cleaning, bill paying on time, tooth brushing house wife. I'm not.